In Search of Wisdom
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: After the events in the author's Dreams Change, Kitty searches for Pete Wisdom.


Title: "In Search of Wisdom"  
Author: Pirate Turner  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Pete Wisdom's supposed fate; the fate of his relationship with Kitty; small spoilers for Kitty's past; and the author's "Dreams Change"  
Summary: After the events in the author's "Dreams Change", Kitty searches for Pete Wisdom.  
Disclaimer: Katheryne "Kitty" "Shadowcat" Pryde; Pete Wisdom; Lockheed; Logan/Wolverine; Professor Xavier; SHIELD; the X-Men; and Excalibur are © & TM Marvel comics and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM Pirate Turner. The author makes absolutely no profit from this story.

The rain continued to drizzle steadily down outside while, inside, frustrated brown eyes glared accussingly at a computer monitor. Fingers flew across the keyboard, and neither it, the mouse, nor the computer itself received any rest as she remained relentless. Finally, late into the night and far after the rain had finally passed, she stopped, allowing the sigh that had been building in her all that day to finally escape her lips. "I don't get it!" she exclaimed, dropping the mouse roughly back onto its pad. "I just don't get it!" she repeated as she stood, walked a few steps away from her desk, and threw herself onto her bed.

Her face remained buried in her blankets for quite some time before the soft, reassuring purring nestled in at her side finally managed to coax her to lift her head. She reached up and pulled her pillow to her, crushing it with her hands as she tucked it under her chin. "It just doesn't make any sense," she said, shaking her head. "He's got to be in there somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can find him. The destination address of the letter's unknown, and there's not a single trace of him on the Web or in any government, military, secret organization, or whatever database since his supposed death!"

"Romany?" a soft voice spoke up from her side.

She shook her head. "No luck. She even suggested I needed a counselor!"

"Father?"

"After the way his daughter was, with her being the _nice_ one of the family, do you really think I want to talk to Pete's _father_?" she asked him as she rolled over onto her back. She reached down, picked him up, and sat the little, purple dragon on top of her.

His eyes met hers, and she nodded. "Yeah, I know. I'd do anything to find him, but I did check in on him without telling him that I thought his son might still be alive. He doesn't have the first clue Pete's not dead, and I didn't want to mention it to him and cause him any further emotional problems. Why get his hopes up when it looks like I'm not even going to be able to find him?"

Both dragon and woman fell silent for a while as they thought. Her hands ran gently down his back, petting him, as she pondered the situation. His soft purring and their breathing were the only sounds in the room until she finally spoke again. "It just doesn't make any sense. Pete's never been the technical one. He wouldn't have the first clue how to hide his address like it never even existed, let alone cover up all his cyber tracks! I couldn't even trace the E-mail back to a real IP address; when I tried to, all I got was a bunch of zeroes."

The dragon's confused gaze up at her made her grin slightly, but she did not laugh like she usually did when he looked at her in such a manner as to suggest that she had finally gone completely insane. "I know," she said. "You don't have the slightest idea what in the world I'm talking about with all this techno junk, right?"

He nodded in simple response, but then added, "But whatever it is, Kitty, maybe others can help?"

"Like who?"

"Xavier? Maybe he can scan for the copper?"

Kitty's grin grew for just one brief moment as she replied, her brown eyes dancing with a sparkling light that lit her eyes all too rarely lately according to her best friend's thoughts. "You know very well that his name's Pete Wisdom, 'Heed." The dragon just grinned in response, but the light in her eyes and the grin on her own face vanished abruptly. "I've thought about that, but I don't want to trouble him. Every one's always so busy lately with trying to save the world, not that that's anything new . . . "

"Now, little darlin'," a gruff voice suddenly spoke from the doorway, "ya know that ain't true." Kitty and Lockheed simultaneously looked up to see a short man leaning in the doorway, his arms and legs crossed casually. "We might be busy, but none o' us are ever too busy fer ya," he continued, standing erect once more and beginning to walk over to her bed.

Kitty lifted Lockheed and rolled to a sitting position. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked him, her brown eyes studying his face.

"Long enough," he answered. "I've already been hittin' my resources fer ya since I figured out what was goin' on, but I ain't found anything. You should ask Chuck, though. If it's possible to find Wisdom, Cerebro can do it."

"But, Logan, I don't want to bother --"

"Kitty, we both know that's a bunch o' bull. What's the real reason why you ain't asked Chuck?"

Her head dropped, and her gaze fell to the floor. The trio sat together in silence as Logan waited knowingly for her to find the courage to tell him the truth. Finally, in a meek voice that was barely above a whisper, she admitted, "I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the reason why I haven't been able to find anything on him is that whatever he was running from finally caught up to him. I'm afraid it's too late to find him."

"So yer'd rather continue this wild goose chase than find out for sure one way or the other?"

She sighed softly, and he waited with the patience he only had when it came to certain women or kids. "You're right," she eventually said. "I've got to know," she added, shaking her head, "one way or the other, and I'm not getting anywhere with any other way."

She stood, and he looked up at her. "You want me ta go with ya, pumpkin?"

Kitty again shook her head. "It's something I need to face alone, but thank you, Logan," she said, embracing him tightly and burrowing her face into his shoulder for a long moment before finally and reluctantly pulling away and stepping back from the man who had came to be so much like a father to her. "And you, 'Heed," she added as she turned to face the dragon who now hovered in the air. She embraced Lockheed more gently and brushed a gentle kiss across the top of his head before turning and walking out of her bedroom.

Both males watched her go with sad, worried eyes. "She'll be okay," Logan told the dragon after Kitty's footsteps had faded into the distance even to his hearing. Neither said anything further as he reached out and reassuringly scratched the dragon on the top of his head.

* * *

A fist rose to knock on the door, but then she hesitated. What was she doing here? She couldn't possibly expect the Professor to be in his office at this late hour of the night. He should be in bed. He needed his rest, and she shouldn't wake him. She began to turn but froze when the gentle voice spoke in her mind. Come in, Katheryne. I've been expecting you.

Kitty turned obediently back around to face the door, opened it, and walked into the office. "I'm sorry for bothering you this late, Professor," she began to apologize profusely.

"It's quite all right, my child. After all these years, you should know that my door is always open to all of my students."

"I do. It's just . . . Well, I've got a huge request to ask, Professor." Kitty could not help wondering why she suddenly felt as if she were merely a fledgling X-Men. She was a seasoned vetern of crime fighting. She'd been a member of the X-Men for years, had been one of the founding members of Excalibur, had stayed with that team until it had momentarily disbanded, and had even been a member of SHIELD. She was normally perfectly at ease with the Professor but not tonight. Tonight, she was scared and even somewhat shy.

"Yes, Katheryne."

She blinked and looked up in surprise at his reassuring, smiling face. "I didn't even ask you yet!"

"You've been trying to locate Peter Wisdom and have been having no luck. Am I right?" When she nodded, he explained, "We all care deeply for you, Katheryne, and we've all been trying to do everything we can to help you find him. I did wait to use Cerebro, though, until you were ready for me to do so."

Kitty smiled with gratitude but without any trace of happiness. "Thank you, Professor," she told him sincerely as he glided towards her.

"Of course, Katheryne. Always at any time," he reassured her as he reached her. "Just follow me, my dear," and he began to lead the way to Cerebro.

* * *

"How is she?" The unexpected sound of the voice that was gentle as a Spring rain made both the man and dragon jump. They whirled around as one to face the newcomer, but both relaxed their guards as they recognized their old friend.

The man turned to look back into the room as he growled out from around the thick mass of his cigar, "'Bout to be driven crazy waitin'."

The trio stood in silence as the watched the young woman in the next office. She paced back and forth. She threw knives at the wall but took no satisfaction from the solid sound they made when they embedded themselves into the wood. She retrieved her knives and ran her hands over them as she stood in thought. The silence was deafening and seemed to bore holes into the waiters.

The young woman turned and retook the single seat in the room, bringing her knees up before her chest and wrapping her arms tightly around them. She buried her head into her knees, hiding her face as the hands of time stretched endlessly on. Her watchers felt her pain and grieved for her, but when she finally lifted her head again, revealing a face swamped with silent tears, the man could stand it no longer. His fists clenched even more tightly as he announced in a soft growl that his companions could barely even hear, "I'm goin' in."

The gentle hand on his shoulder did nothing to reassure him. "You must not, Logan," she whispered softly.

"To Hell wit' that, 'Ro!" he seethed, barely able to keep his voice low enough that the girl did not hear him. "Kitty needs us! I ain't 'bout ta just stand out here, watchin' her an' knowin' she's in pain but not doin' anything ta help her."

"Logan," the voice of reason, and of Ororo Munroe, cautioned, "what did Kitten tell you just before she left to speak with the Professor?"

He scowled as he admitted, "That it's somethin' she needed ta do alone." Ororo let the reminder speak for her, knowing that the memory and Logan's own experience with things that had to be handled alone would both speak far stronger than any words she could have possibly said. He turned swiftly, his eyes flashing as he pounded the wall in frustration. "It's not right! All I wanna do is help her, comfort her!"

"I know," Ororo whispered gently as her hand reassuringly stroked the back of his shoulder. "So do I, but all we can do for now is wait."

* * *

Kitty's head snapped up at the sound of a fist hitting a wall somewhere. She glanced at the Professor. Surely, _he_ hadn't . . .? She considered the possibility for just one fleeting second before her gaze turned toward the closed door. She could see shadows playing across the plate of glass and knew who waited for her on the other side. When she was younger, she would have been angered by their apparent disability to trust her to handle her own problems, but as an adult, Kitty knew that they were only worried about her and wanted to comfort her though they knew they could not.

She sighed and looked away as she began to rub her tears away. She knew her friends meant well, but there was nothing they nor any one else could do until she knew the truth. Terror filled her being at what she might be about to find out, at the thought that the Professor might come out at any second, head bowed, to tell her that Pete was gone, but she had to be strong even though that feeling far overshadowed the tiny glimmer of hope she had managed to hang desperately on to. Even if what the Professor discovered was what she did not want to hear, she still had to know.

Not for the first time, Kitty wondered what she would do when she found out, once and for all, rather or not Wisdom still lived. She knew he didn't want her going after him because he wanted her to be safe, but if he still lived, she would not rest until she found him again and was reunited with him. Then, she'd finally figure out what had put him on the run to begin with and she'd help him to escape whoever or whatever it was.

The other possibility then loomed once more in her mind, and Kitty shuddered. If Pete was gone, this time for good, she didn't know what she'd do. She just knew she had to know the truth. Whatever came from her search, she'd have to find a way to deal with it, and she would have to be strong regardless.

* * *

The door slid open, and Kitty's head snapped instantly up at the sound. Her heart leapt into her throat, hammering at speeds that she knew even Quicksilver wouldn't have been able to reach. Just outside the room, three heads leaned even closer as they all strained to be able to see the Professor.

Charles Xavier lingered in the shadows for a moment, his heart heavy with the news he knew he had to deliver. Then, slowly and with his head still bowed, he entered the room. Kitty's heart nearly stopped when she saw that his head was still bowed, and she froze in shock as the news already began to struggle to try and set in to her mind. "Oh, God . . ." she whispered softly, her own ears not even hearing her hoarse voice. "Please, no . . . Don't . . . "

Charles' head slowly raised, and his blue eyes sparkled with his own tears of compassion and sympathy for one of his favorite children. "Katheryne," he spoke her name with all the tender gentleness of a loving father, "I'm sorry . . ." He leaned forward from his wheelchair as he drew closer to her, trying desperately to reach up to her so that he might be able to comfort her.

She shook her head slowly, trying desperately to maintain her composure. "There wasn't . . .?" she tried.

"There was no sign of him. Of course," Professor Xavier tried in vain to reassure her, "that could simply mean he was unconscious while I was searching for him or that he was outside of Cerebro's range."

Kitty shook her head slowly; they both knew the truth now. Pete Wisdom was gone. She had no ideal how he had managed to send her one last message to save her from the unhappy, unfulfilled life that staying away from the X-Men would have caused her, but she knew he was now gone forever. She didn't know why, and it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was gone.

"Thank you for trying, Professor," she scarcely managed to croak out from a throat tightened by grief before turning from him.

"Kitty," he asked, his hand still raised towards her, "is there anything I can . . . ?"

She shook her head slowly, and her tear-brimmed eyes cast one glance at the door. From the other side of the door, Logan saw her tears and knew what she was about to do. Without hesitation, he threw the door open and rushed inside. "Kitty!"

"Not now, Wolvy," she whispered as her tears started to fall. "I just need to be alone," she tried to explain as she walked straight through the wall.

"Kitty!" Logan growled as he started, in his desperate longing to be able to ease pain of the girl who had came to be like a daughter to him long ago, to charge the wall that she had disappeared into.

The Professor grasped Logan's arm, the gentle touch stilling him instantly. "Give her time, Logan; she will be okay."

* * *

She did not solidfy again until she reached the safety of her bedroom. She entered her room through the floor and solidfied her body just before she tossed herself down onto her bed. Although she had cried twice before, she had held back both times, but there was no holding back this time as her tears ran freely. She whimpered and wailed, her voice muffled only by her bed, as all her grief, loneliness, and sadness began to pour out. She had never before felt so lonely or such pain that grasped her heart in its fierce, tight grip, even causing her great difficulty in breathing.

From the ceiling of her room, two pairs of blue eyes, filled with pain, grief, and anguish, watched the woman they both loved. Everything left in them ached to be able to reach out to and comfort her, but they knew that she could not even see them. "Oh, Pryde . . . "

"Katya . . . "

The wind moaned outside in the warning of another storm on the horizon, but Kitty took no notice as their voices fell on death ears. Her shoulders continued to shake and her body to tremble as her flood of tears continued.

**The End**


End file.
